Friendship is about owning your 50% in a relationship.

You can’t control what the other person will or will not do. But you can always control how you show up.

However, learning how to be a good friend who knows her values, boundaries, how to be assertive and how to apologize… takes time and practice. It’s an art, that too often we don’t learn how to do.

Our brains are designed to care deeply about what other people think of us, because back in the day when humanity was still living in caves, there was only one group we belonged to. And if we weren’t like the others, the group could decide at any moment to let us go. Surviving in the wild on our own soon meant death.

This is why our brains still freak out when someone in our group doesn’t like us anymore. We then try and please, fit in… anything we can, because in our brains it hurts too much to be ousted.

But there isn’t only one group anymore. There are lots of groups now. And we will definitely not die.

So we need to consciously program ourselves with skills and values that let us be the friend that we want to be and choose friends with whom we belong, instead of just fit in with.


INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES

FROM COURAGEOUS GIRLS CLUB:

 

 

 


FREE ACTIVITIES FROM OTHER ORGANIZATIONS:


ACTIVITIES FOR A FEE:


IN THE NEWS

HOW TO BE A GOOD FRIEND - awesome article + video.                              

HOW TO HELP KIDS MAKE FRIENDS - 10 Evidence-based tips

RAISING GIRLS WHO ARE INCLUDERS

HELPING GIRLS COPE WITH BULLYING AND FRENEMIES - What to do when friendship is used as a weapon. 

WHAT MIDDLE SCHOOL STUDENTS NEED TO THRIVE - The top 10 social-emotional skills...

FRIENDSHIP MATTERS - Helping kids make and keep friends.

4 CONFLICT RESOLUTION TECHNIQUES FOR SCHOOL CHILDREN

RUDE vs. MEAN vs. BULLYING: Defining the differences.

BYSTANDER TO BULLYING - What you should say to your child.

CONFIDENT IN CONFLICT - The 9 tools you need

INSTEAD OF FITTING IN, TRY THIS... - Building relationships is a muscle.

HOW TO BULLYPROOF YOUR CHILD - How to take the air out of teasing.

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF FRIENDSHIP - The key to the problem of friendship is found in an odd-sounding place: a lack of a sense of purpose.


RECOMMENDED BOOKS


VIDEOS

 
We all know how lovely friendship can be, but we seldom focus properly on what a good friend should actually be like. As a result, we miss out on opportunities to become precisely that sort of friend - and enrich the social lives of all those we meet.
We often think that the best way to have friends is to be deeply impressive and accomplished. In fact, the route to true friendship always flows through vulnerability.
The person we may find it hardest to be kind and sympathetic to is, surprisingly, ourselves. Yet being a friend to ourselves provides the only viable basis for living an emotionally fulfilled life.
We spend an inordinate amount of time concentrating on the question of whether or not we are liked. It would be a great deal wiser to put our energy into actually proving likeable and persuading our audience of our affection for them.