Thoughts.

We have around 60,000 a day, but how many of those are you even aware of?

And yet your thoughts dictate everything… how you feel, what actions you take or don’t take, and what results you have or lack in your life.

If a “negative” event happens to you, such as someone makes fun of you, you lose your job, or maybe even get into an accident…

It is NOT THE EVENT that then makes you feel a certain way such as sad or embarrassed, but rather YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT THAT EVENT, immediately after.

We all interpret life events our own unique ways.

I think of it as a page of a coloring book, that is still just black and white.

 
UmbrellaGirl.jpg
 

This page is the event in your life, and no two people would color it the exact same way. So this life event will be interpreted your own unique way. (You are happy it’s rainy, because it’s good for your garden; you are mad because you wanted to play outside and now it’s too muddy, etc.) But either way, it’s not the rain that is positive or negative, but rather your thoughts about it.

There are different models that help us better understand this concept, such as this simple one from GoZen:

EVENTS (lead to) - THOUGHTS (which then lead to our) - REACTIONS

Another, more in depth one from The Life Coach School is this:

 
Life Coach School Thought model.jpg
 

Either way you look at it, this is really powerful news.

However, over our lifetime, our Mammalian brain has memorized how we usually react to things, (as well as how others react to similar events, and how the world tells us to react to circumstances.) So while you might be thinking that you are choosing your own reactions, most likely you are just repeating your past reactions, as your brain quickly fires up to tell you how you usually feel in similar circumstances. Yup, you usually don’t raise your hand in new situations, so definitely don’t raise it now either. It’s too scary. You might die in the process.

So you need to learn to separate yourself from your automatic thoughts and reactions and decide how you really want to show up in your life.

Everything we ever want to do in life is to feel a certain emotion. Emotions are there for a reason, they motivate us, they keep us safe… and there is usually a message in each one of them. So figuring out who we are starts with our emotional intelligence, understanding our feelings, triggers, reactions, and learning how to create the right emotions for our own lives that set us up to live the life we truly want to lead.


INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES

FROM COURAGEOUS GIRLS CLUB:


FREE ACTIVITIES FROM OTHER ORGANIZATIONS:

  


ACTIVITIES FOR A FEE:


IN THE NEWS

 

WANT TO RAISE AN EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT CHILD? - Begin with these 5 steps...

POSITIVE SELF-TALK - Want your kid to love what she is doing? Try this one thing...

4 POWERFUL WAY TO RAISE COURAGEOUS CHILDREN - By Brené Brown

UNTANGLED: Guiding teenage girls through the 7 transitions of adulthood. 

HELPING OUR CHILDREN GROW THEIR FRUSTRATION TOLERANCE

OPTIMISM - Why parents should teach it and how.

THE BULLY TOO CLOSE TO HOME - When our perfectionist tendencies get in the way of parenting.

THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT SKILL TO TEACH YOUR CHILD - 5 steps of Emotion Coaching.

THE QUIET POWER OF INTROVERTS - And how parents and teachers can nurture it. 

SHAKE-IT OFF PARENTING - Why it's time to stop this negative parenting strategy.

RESEARCH-BASED STRATEGIES TO HELP CHILDREN DEVELOP SELF-CONTROL

LEARNING SOFT SKILLS IN CHILDHOOD CAN PREVENT HARDER PROBLEMS LATER

HOW TO RAISE A CARING CHILD

WIRED FOR KINDNESS: Science shows we prefer compassion, and our capacity grows with practice

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND FUTURE JOBS - Why it is increasingly important to have good social and emotional skills.

TO HELP STUDENTS LEARN, ENGAGE THE EMOTIONS

DOES YOUR DAUGHTER KNOW IT'S OKAY TO BE ANGRY?

TEACHING EMPATHY - Evidence-based tips.

HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILD OVERCOME NEGATIVE THINKING

9 HABITS OF EMPATHETIC CHILDREN

TEACHING YOUR CHILD EMOTIONAL AGILITY - Feel it. Show it. Label it. Watch it go.


RECOMMENDED BOOKS


VIDEOS

 

We know how many adult problems come down to issues from childhood - but what exactly is that wondrous, hugely desirable thing, an emotionally-healthy childhood?

One of the hardest things in the universe to understand is the interior of our own minds: we can have spent decades on the earth before we've grasped even very basic things about who we are and how we function. It's not for nothing that the Ancient Greeks felt philosophy had only one command: Know yourself!

It's remarkably easy to fall out of touch with a key bit of oneself: one's feelings.

One of the most vital of all life skills is soothing; the art of calming oneself down, restoring perspective and remembering to be kind to oneself.

People-pleasing behavior, while ostensibly pleasant, causes enormous difficulties for us, especially in relationships and in love. We need to grow better able to disappoint others, and to stop fearing calamity when we do so.

This Sentis Brain Animation explores how our brain operates -- at conscious and subconscious levels.

In this video, Dr. Diane Gehart and David Siegel introduce elementary students to mindfulness and describe in child-friendly language how it helps the brain. Students learn about their stress response or "lizard brain" (limbic) and their "smart parts" (prefrontal cortex).

 

MOVIES

 

Room to Breathe - a documentary about the power of mindfulness